drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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