So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
