Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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