Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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