Screwed.edu
I think my fart just growled at me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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