You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
