Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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