And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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