it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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