I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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