Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
