meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
