Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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