Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize