I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
