tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
