So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need water and some morals
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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