If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize