We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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