i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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