I want to stick my p in your. b.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
