i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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