I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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