I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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