Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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