remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dignity is for republicans.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
