I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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