I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
