Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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