Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
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My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
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I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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