i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
