Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
