I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
