So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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