Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Less talking, more tequila
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
