So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i would punch a child for taco bell
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
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I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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