there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
