yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
