I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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