You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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