ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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