so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
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nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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