I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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