I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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