I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
