So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I still have a little drunk in my system
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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