I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
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Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
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Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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