Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
