dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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