I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
