this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
