how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
