My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
