dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize