Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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