we have officially lost it.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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