i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
