I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
