i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
