Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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