four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
