i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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